Newsflash: Archaeologists find remains of first politician

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By Dave Hoffman:

Dave Hoffman

        **** NewsFlash ****

 

Washington, D. C. November 1, 2018 (AP, UPI, Reuters)

Archaeologists working on a dig outside the nation’s capital announced this morning in a press conference that they have made a significant find. While the find itself is still being prepared to be incased for viewing at the Smithsonian Institute’s American History Museum, a captioned photograph was included for the press conference. (Shown at conclusion)

Professor Gungeforth T. Plumwhistle, who is leading the dig, stated “The find is of enormous political value, as we believe it is the very first liberal politician in the New World, and may predate the actual formation of the country as a separate political entity from Great Britain. It was found buried feet first. We first determined that it was a politician by the discovery of a partially rotted leather pouch containing gold sovereigns, and several scraps of parchment on which was written the phrase ‘Prithee. Wouldst thou buy my vote?’ We determined that the politician was liberal by the placement of the skull. It’s possible that the individual choked to death on his own excrement.” The remains are to be part of a new exhibit on American Politicians.

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© Copyright by Dave Hoffman, 2018. All rights reserved.

Dave Hoffman
About Dave Hoffman 14 Articles
Dave Hoffman is a VietNam vet and now retired after having worked many years in security. He has a unique and often humorous take on life and our republic. He has been a staff writer for CHCH News Publishing since its inception in 2003 with a number of columns to his credit, not to mention his satirical "Newsflash" pieces that were a long time staple of Capitol Hill Coffee House.