You Might Be A Republican If…

Are you a Republican? Read this and find out...

You Might Be A Republican
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By Charlie Lyon:

Charlie Lyon

Are you a Republican? Read this and find out…

A friend recently questioned whether young Bernie or Hillary supporters really understood the things they were supporting.  When digging down a little into their “convictions” (if you can avoid saying something that sends them fleeing to their “safe space”) often they actually agree with more traditional views of things.  So we came up with the idea that maybe we could reach them with a little Jeff Foxworthy:

 You might be a Republican if: 

  • You’ve never owned a slave or been a member of the KKK.
  • Your group is no more special than my group.
  • You don’t think whiny people deserve to go to the front of the​ line.
  • You agree that every person deserves to keep what they work for.
  • You are learning that Life is Hard and if it doesn’t kill you it will make you stronger.
  • You’re pretty sure choices have consequences.
  • You’re real sure people need to own the consequences of their choices.
  • You’re certain it is wrong to take stuff from some people and give it to others “just to be fair.”
  • You think some ideas are better than other ideas.
  • You agree that the ideas that formed America are pretty good ideas and should be preserved.
  • Common sense tells you all people should play by the same rules.
  • Experience tells you that when everyone plays by the same rules we can trust each other.
  • You like being able to trust others.
  • You agree that most people are capable of taking care of themselves and Nosy People should mind their own business, especially if they work for the government.
  • You know freedom isn’t free.
  • You suspect that people who are offended at every little thing probably need to grow up.
  • You know the difference between ‘melting pot’ and ‘salad bowl’.
  • You believe America is the most welcoming and generous nation on Earth but those who come here must come on our terms, learn our language, and pledge allegiance to our flag.
  • Generally speaking, you like America and don’t think it needs to be ‘fundamentally transformed.’
  • You believe honest debate is healthy.
  • You avoid debating people whose limited vocabulary reduces them to pointing, grunting and clubbing others to get their ideas across.
  • You’re confident in ‘self-evident truth’ and resist efforts to make you accept notions that violate your own sensibilities.
  • You view the world’s resources as a gift from a benevolent Creator to be cultivated and cared for in order to abundantly bless mankind.
  • You’re convinced that American capitalism is the best way to make those resources affordable and available to the most people.
  • You think ‘global citizenship’ is a goofy, unworkable and dangerous idea.
  • And you might be a Republican if You believe that Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness are rights given by God and are worth pledging the best we have to ensure everyone has a fair chance to enjoy.

So feel free to engage your local millennial.  If nothing else, it may just strengthen your convictions!

And, apologies Mr. Foxworthy…

© Copyright by Charlie Lyon, 2017. All rights reserved.

Charlie Lyon
About Charlie Lyon 9 Articles

Why should anyone want to read what I have to say?
As a pastor in 1993, I attended social researcher George Barna’s seminar. He observed that of the two and a half million students who would graduate that year, two thirds would not be able to read or write at a seventh grade level. The problem for the future, he predicted, was that a generation would grow up without the vocabulary to adequately articulate thought. As a school bus driver, I would often warn the high schoolers that if they limited their vocabulary to the “f word” for all parts of speech they would soon be reduced to pointing, grunting and clubbing each other to get their ideas across. As a parent and grandparent I watch helplessly a coarsening of an entire culture being reduced to pointing, grunting and clubbing each other because we can no longer articulate the ideals of liberty. And so I write in the hope that the pen is still mightier than the, well, club. Using the things I’ve gleaned as a follower of Jesus, obedient son, faithful husband, proud parent, pastor, teacher, carpenter, businessman, lover of liberty and student of history I want to rekindle brushfires of freedom in the minds of men!