By Dave Hoffman:
**** NewsFlash ****
New York, New York September 7, 2018 (AP, UPI, Reuters)
The publisher of the New York Times, Mr. A. G. Sulzberger, has today issued an abject apology to all its subscribers and readers worldwide. The apology is as a result of an error in publication that occurred on Tuesday, September 4, 2018. “We screen every article published in the Times”, a spokesperson of indeterminate gender stated. “Everything is subjected to careful review, not once, not twice, but a minimum of three times. How this could have occurred is beyond belief, but we are investigating, and heads will roll.”
The mistake was found by a new employee in the mailroom, who was using a piece of newsprint in lieu of toilet paper, while in the Mens/Ladies/or Whatever Room. He noticed the article and reported it to his supervisor. The article in question is not specifically mentioned, but inside sources state the furor was caused by the fact that several things mentioned in the article were the truth. “We will get to the bottom of this, and I guarantee that our liberal readers will never be bothered by the truth again”, the spokesperson said.
(NewsFlash articles are parody news stories intended for amusement).
© Copyright by Dave Hoffman, 2018. All rights reserved.